Do you know where most wedding traditions come from or how they started? Many of the wedding traditions we follow stem from centuries-old customs that may not resonate with modern couples.

While some traditions are beautiful and meaningful, others carry outdated or patriarchal undertones that may not align with your values. For nontraditional couples, this is your chance to rewrite the rules and craft a ceremony that truly reflects who you are.

Let’s explore the origins of some common wedding traditions and how you can reimagine them to create a wedding that feels authentic and inclusive!

1. Walking Down the Aisle: Who’s Giving Who Away?

The Tradition: Historically, this practice symbolized a transfer of ownership. The bride’s father “gave her away” as part of a dowry exchange or a legal union between families.

How To Reimagine It:

  • Walk down the aisle together as a couple, symbolizing your equal partnership.
  • Have both parents escort you, highlighting the love and support of your family.
  • Walk solo, showcasing your independence and agency.
  • Skip the aisle entirely — meet your partner at the altar or start the ceremony together side by side. You can even walk from both sides of the front aisle if you don’t like a ton of attention.
2. Tossing the Bouquet: From Protection to Pressure

The Tradition: Tossing the bouquet dates back to medieval Europe, where it was thought to ward off bad luck or evil spirits. It later evolved into a game where catching the bouquet signaled who would marry next.

How To Reimagine It:

  • Toss something meaningful, like a small token or plantable seeds, to symbolize growth and connection.
  • Share a communal moment instead, like a group toast or a heartfelt message to your loved ones.
  • Skip the toss and repurpose your bouquet as a keepsake or gift to someone special.

Photo by Khariza Rae

3. The White Dress: Purity or Preference?

The Tradition: Queen Victoria popularized the white wedding dress in 1840, symbolizing wealth and, later, purity. Before that, brides simply wore their best dress, regardless of color.

How To Reimagine It:

  • Choose an outfit (whether a dress, suit, or other) that reflects your personality. It could also be colorful, patterned, or nontraditional. At my wedding, I wore a silver sequined evening gown so I could be like a walking disco ball 😉
  • Consider cultural attire that honors your heritage.
    Wear ANY color even if not white! (I mean, we wouldn’t be called Weddings In Color if we didn’t encourage this!). We’ve seen some couples rock all black at weddings, and we love the chic look!
4. The Wedding Cake: A Symbol of Fertility

The Tradition: Wedding cakes originated in Ancient Rome and later in England as symbols of fertility and prosperity. Guests would crumble it over the bride’s head for good luck (thankful that this part didn’t stick).

How To Reimagine It:

  • Ditch the cake if you don’t like it! Not worth the big ticket price tag if you’re not going to enjoy it.
  • Opt for a dessert that you BOTH love, whether it’s donuts, pies, cupcakes, or ube brownies.
  • Try a Dessert Bar to Include a variety of sweets catering to different tastes and dietary needs.
  • Skip dessert entirely and serve a savory snack like a cheese board or late-night tacos.
5. Traditional Vows: Following a Script

The Tradition: Many wedding vows are based on religious or cultural scripts that emphasize obedience and gender roles, which may feel outdated or irrelevant to some couples.

How To Reimagine It:

  • Write your own vows that reflect your values and commitments to each other.
  • Incorporate poetry, song lyrics, or quotes that are meaningful to you.
  • Skip vows altogether and let your ceremony focus on other rituals that are meaningful.

Photo by Carino Collective

6. The Wedding Party: Gendered Roles and Expectations

The Tradition: Wedding parties historically served as witnesses to the marriage and protectors of the bride (yes, there was a time when brides were literally guarded). The roles became more gender-specific over time, with bridesmaids and groomsmen taking on separate duties.

How To Reimagine It:

  • Create a mixed-gender “support squad” with titles like BFFs, Wedding Crew, or Dream Team.
  • Keep it intimate with just one or two people, or skip a formal group altogether.
  • Let your chosen people dress in whatever makes them comfortable, rather than sticking to matching outfits.
  • Consider a mix of solid colors and prints for a stylized and unique look.
8. Wedding Rings: Symbols of Ownership?

The Tradition: Rings have been used as symbols of commitment since Ancient Egypt, but in many cultures, they also represented ownership and wealth transfer.

How To Reimagine It:

  • Choose rings (or another token) that feel meaningful to you, such as tattoos, bracelets, or necklaces.
  • Skip rings entirely and exchange handwritten letters, art, or another symbolic gesture.
    Opt for ethically sourced or custom-made jewelry that reflects your values.
Permission Granted – Plan The Wedding YOU WANT.

Breaking free from traditional wedding customs doesn’t mean rejecting tradition altogether—it’s about making intentional choices that align with your values and relationship. Whether you embrace, adapt, or skip a tradition, the most important thing is that your wedding feels authentically yours.

 

 

💙
Gina Mariko
Founder & Chief Ex